survive
by FirstHeartBroken
Summary: you've broken me, Troy!" She yells, tears rolling down her cheeks, "Did you ever love me?" She whispers and it breaks his heart that she even has to ask that question. Troypay


_**Summary:**"You've broken me, Troy!" She shouts, tears rolling down her face, "Did you ever love me?" She whispers and it breaks his heart that she even has to ask that question. Troypay._

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Survive.

Troypay Oneshot

_I don't wanna talk about it, It makes me wanna cry.  
Everytime I pour out my emotions, it makes me feel emptier inside.._

Sharpay Evans is broken. She's so hurt, so humiliated, so ashamed. He's done that to her. Troy Bolton - Golden boy of East High has stolen her heart and smashed it into tiny little pieces. She thought they were meant to be together. She thought he was _'the one' _but she was wrong - she was so wrong. He's just like all the other stupid boys in this stupid world. He's a liar and a cheater.

Gabriella Montez was supposed to be her friend. Sharpay thought that she was sweet, loyal and trusting, But she was wrong - again. She is exactly like all the other stupid girls in this stupid world. A faker and a deceitful bitch.

She had dated him for a year. 365 days she went thinking everything was okay - thinking he loved her and she loved him so it was all good. But, she was wrong - again. 365 long days of passion, love and sweet kisses. He had turned her from the Ice Queen to the Warm Princess, but then he turned her right back again.

Why did he have to cheat on her? If he didn't love her, why didn't he just say so? It would've hurt but it would've been over quickly. But instead, she has to live her whole life thinking that she was never good enough and nothing can numb that unbelievable aching pain deep in her heart.

_I don't know how to play it like I'm not in love with you,  
But I'll try..._

Now they're happy and she's not. They walk through the school hallways, holding hands and stealing kisses - not realising that the broken blond is watching the whole time and it breaks her heart every single time. But now the Golden Couple of East High are together and it seems everyone's happy about it - everyone except her and her twin, Ryan.

Troy Bolton is an ass. She had figured that out a long time ago, but that still didn't numb the pain. She still loves him - she always will. He'll always hold a piece of her broken heart - whether he knows it or not. Because, her heart is broken and she still hasn't found all the pieces.

She isn't bitter. Not anymore. She doesn't cry. Not anymore. She doesn't even want him back. Not anymore. She just wants to know why. Why isn't she good enough for him? Why isn't she enough? Why did he have to break her in the worst way possible? Why doesn't he love her like she loves him?

_Even though I do,  
Miss you.._

It angers her to see them in the corridor, so much so that her brother has to drag her eyes away. She wishes that it doesn't hurt so much - but it does. He's tried to apologize to her so many times - telling her that she's the only one for him, but she can't believe him - as much as she wants to - she can't.

She wants to know why it's taken him less than a month to get over her when she _still _can't let go. She still craves him so much, she still needs him so damn much. She still dreams of his soft hands on her skin, their naked bodies entwined in the most intimate of ways.

_Just like the air that I breathe,  
I need you with me..._

She watches them with heavy eyes. Not only has that bitch taken her man, she's also taken the other thing she loves most in this world. Her drama. Sharpay shakes her head incredulously. Why does Gabriella want _everything _that she owns? Why does she want to be her _so _badly? She watches them up on stage, watches the brunette play the role_ she _was meant for.

Her eyes gather with un-shed tears as Ryan grips her hand, supporting her. She knows it's been hard on him too, as Gabriella was his girlfriend when they decided to cheat. Sharpay watches them dance on stage - wide smiles etched onto their features. She can't bear it. It's so hard - too hard.

_I'm not gonna lie,  
I can't imagine my life without you but I suppose I will survive._

He promised he would protect her forever. He lied. He promised he would take her away from it all. He lied. He promised he loved her. He lied. Lies, lies, lies. She doesn't understand.

She watches them share a passionate kiss and a tear rolls down her eyes. It's the first tear she's cried since it happened and she knows that she now feels _something. _Something instead of emptiness.

"It's okay, sis." Ryan whispers in her ear, kissing the back of her hand tenderly. The tears are running rapidly down her pale face and she feels like she can't breathe. It's not supposed to hurt this much.

_I'm not gonna play myself everytime my cell rings,  
Checkin' for your name._

She can't take it anymore and as they disappear off-stage and a chorus of applause breaks out, Sharpay slips out of the crowd - making her way towards the dressing room.

Her vision is blurred, her eyes cloudy as she makes small hiccuping noises, her heart beating wildly in her chest as she runs through the corridors. Soon enough she arrives at the pink door - the door that was supposed to be hers. She shakes her head angrily before walking next door. Troy's door.

She can hear his masculine voice and it makes her heart beat even faster. But, she can also hear a sickly sweet voice too - a females and she starts to panic. She quickly runs round the corner, leaning against the wall - listening.

"Goodnight, Troysie." Sharpay feels like throwing up at the sound of _her _stupidly innocent voice.

"Goodnight Gabriella." She closes her eyes when she hears _his _voice. He still sounds the same.

She has to slap a hand over her mouth, tears rolling down her cheeks when she hears her whisper 'I love you' to him. A sharp pain runs through her chest and she wonders if her heart can take much more.

She hears Gabriella's footsteps slowly fade away and her trembling hand comes down. Her whole body is shaking and her breathing is ragged. It's now or never. She walks out from the corner and makes her way to his closed door. She _has _to know. She _has _to know why she wasn't enough.

_I promise that I'll never tell you how I feel,  
Because I know you don't feel the same..._

Her trembling hand knocks on the wood and she waits. He opens it with a smile on his face - but the smile soon fades when he sees her, tears streaming down her cheeks, her body trembling. He still looks the same.

"Sharpay-" He starts, confused.

"Was I not good enough for you?!" She cries, her body shaking.

_I just gotta let you go._

He sighs. Of course she was good enough. But he doesn't tell her that. "Come- Come in." He sighs and opens the door wider. She passes him quickly, trying not to let their bodies brush against each other. She closes her eyes for a moment. He still smells the same.

She sits down on the chair, looking in the light-framed mirror. Her appearance is frail, her cheeks drained of their natural pink color.

"Sharpay- I-"

"I need to know, Troy." She states, her voice wobbling, "I need to know why I wasn't enough."

"You were, Pay." He sighs, running a hand through his shaggy hair.

"Don't call me that." She snaps, her heart breaking again.

"I'm sorry, _Sharpay._" He says more slowly.

"I know. I'm not interested in your apologies." She tells him, her hands still shaking.

"What do you want from me, Pa- Sharpay?!" He asks, raising his voice, agitated.

She frowns at him, dry tears staining her cheeks, "What do I want?! I want to know why you did it! I want to know why you didn't love me!"

_Don't try to explain,  
Why your love's changed..._

He sighs in annoyance, "I don't know why I did it, Shar! I can't give you answer right now because I don't know." He speaks slowly and clearly.

She stands up, her legs feeling like jelly, "I loved you _so _much!" She cries, fresh tears falling from her eyes and he hates to see her so distraught.

His head is spinning, his body starting to tremble, his eyes starting to water. He didn't mean to hurt her so much. He honestly didn't.

"You've broken me, Troy!" she shouts, tears rolling down her face, "Did you ever love me?" She whispers and it breaks his heart that she even has to ask that question. Of course he did. He loved her with all his heart - he still does.

_Boy you really broke my heart this time._

She sits down, placing her head in his hands and she starts to sob, her blonde hair falling around her face. His heart drops and he kneels down in-front of her. Gently lifting her head to make her look at him. Her tearful eyes stare into his blue orbs and she finds herself falling all over again.

"Sharpay," He whispers, "What I did- I- It was so wrong. But it doesn't mean that I didn't love you, because...I did. So much. I still do." He tells her, gently hooking back a piece of blonde hair behind her ear.

She lets out a strangled sob and searches his eyes, "Do you- Do you ever miss me?."

"Everyday." He whispers, "I never meant for you to doubt yourself - because - believe me Sharpay, you were _always _enough - more than enough."

A hot tear rolls down her cheek, "Then why did you do it?" She whimpers.

_I would have done anything,  
If it would mean, I could make you love me..._

"I was stupid. So stupid." He shakes his head, resting his hands on her knees, making her shiver, "I hate myself for it everyday, because I lost you."

She looks down into her lap. She doesn't want him to see her like this, "You make me feel so inferior. So insecure."

"I'm sorry," He repeats and she wonders how many times he's actually said that to her.

_You're the one I need, but believe me,  
We can never be._

"I know." She nods, standing up. "But sometimes, sorry isn't enough."

He stands up too and faces her. "I love you, Sharpay. I always will."

She nods again, pursing her lips into a thin line to try and stop the tears from falling. "I love you too. I always have."

He presses his lips to hers gently and a tear rolls down her cheek when she realises that this is the end. They can't be together, not after the pain he's put her through. It's too hard now. She wraps her arms around his neck as he holds her closely and they share an innocent kiss.

"Goodbye Troy." She whispers once they break away.

"Goodbye Sharpay."

_And I miss you, more than the air I breathe.  
I need you with me, I'm not gonna lie._

A 25 year old Sharpay sits in the church quietly, watching the man she loves promise to hold and protect another woman. It still hurts - even after all these years. 9 years have passed and she still can't let him go.

Gabriella looks beautiful and Sharpay can't help but hate her. This was supposed to be her day. He looks amazing - just the same as he did all those years ago. She loves him so much, but she can't ever have him - and that's what hurts the most.

_I can't imagine myself without you,  
But I suppose I will survive._

A tear rolls down her cheek as she watches them share a tender kiss.

And again, she can't help but wonder:

Why wasn't she enough?

_I'll be fine, don't worry about me.  
I'll be okay..._


End file.
